Battle of the Bands
by unannehmlichkeiten
Summary: Shigeru forms a rock band with his NERV coworkers. Can they become good enough to win the competition against a mysterious band from Public Security Section 9? Please Review!


Shigeru Aoba ran through the halls of NERV HQ in a panic. He was looking for everyone that knew him personally, to ask a huge favor. Even an Angel attack couldn't shake him up this badly, but for some reason he felt scared out of his mind. Time and again, he would burst into a room, look for people he knew, and ask the same question:

"Does anyone in here play an instrument?"

After almost an hour, some results started to show. He had found a few takers in the higher-up parts of NERV, and told them to meet him in Central Dogma in one hour. And to bring their stuff.

"Shinji, do you play an instrument?"

"Um… the cello?"

"No, no; wrong kind of instrument!"

"I play the guitar a little…"

"Awesome. Go get it. Central Dogma. One Hour." He ran off.

"Asuka! Do you play an instrument?"

"What? Why are you asking me?"

"That's not important. Do you play?"

"Well, back in Deutschland I sang a little bit…"

"Perfect. Central Dogma. 53 minutes."

"Rei! … Why am I asking you?"

"About what?"

"Do you play an instrument?"

"I once played string bass, but have since moved on to electric bass…"

"… Ok. Central Dogma. 41 minutes."

Shigeru ran into the open NERV Command Bridge, looking around in despair. He was still at least two members short, and three short for traditional classic rock. He gripped his head in his hands, and yelled to no one in particular.

"Doesn't anyone else play an instrument at NERV!?" Misato came over to see what all the commotion was, and asked a seething Shigeru what was the matter.

"Ms. Katsuragi, unless you play drum set or synthesizer, I really can't talk right now."

"Drum…Set," she said, slowly pulling a pair of drum sticks from inside her red jacket.

"Really?"

"Tell me where and when."

"Uh, Central Dogma. 20 minutes. But I still need a keyboard player."

"Oh, Ritsuko's pretty handy with a keyboard, aren't you Ritsuko?" Nearby, Ritsuko typed away on a large computer terminal adjacent to the Magi.

"Not that kind of keyboard, I mean like a synthesizer-" Ritsuko came up behind him, surprising him.

"Don't assume, Shigeru. I can use the QWERTY keyboard for more than science," she said as she pushed down and held keys on a laptop. The synthesizer intro from Van Halen's "Jump" came over the laptop's speakers.

"Dr. Akagi, if you would; Central Dogma, 14 minutes."

"Ok."

A few minutes later, Shigeru and his five volunteers waited with their instruments and equipment in Central Dogma. They were all becoming a little impatient when Shigeru finally called them in to speak with him.

"Alright," Asuka yelled. "What's going on, anyway? I think we need an explanation." The crowd murmured their agreement.

"Calm down, ok? Now. I called you all here because as you know, I am a musician; a musician who-"

"Get on with it!"

"An old friend called, and challenged me that her band was superior to mine. I was stupid, and blurted out that my band could kick her band's ass any day of the week."

"Damn right it could!"

"Thank you, Misato. There was just one problem."

"What's that, Shigeru?"

"Well Shinji, the truth is that I…I don't have a band!" Everyone gasped in surprise, then fell silent. One by one, they looked to the now weeping Shigeru, then to the instruments they had brought; finally, Ritsuko made the connection.

"I see. You want us to become this band before your friend calls your bluff. Pretty quick thinking, but can you pull it off, Lieutenant?"

"This isn't about me anymore, sniff, it's about all of us. I think we can do this. You each have an instrument that complements your nature. Rei, you're simple and mechanical, (no offense,) so you can keep the bass line steady as a rock. Asuka, you've never been shy to get up in people's faces, so you'll never get nervous on stage the way some singers do. Ritsuko, you're analytical and precise, so we can rely on your patterns to be right on cue. And Misato, you're just the kind of eager, mothering personality that can keep the band together with a steady tempo."

Shinji looked around to his motivated coworkers. "What about me?"

"Shinji, you… play rhythm guitar."

"Ok!"

"So, can we do this? What do you say, NERV? Are you with me?" Everyone happily agreed.

Every weekday evening was spent at Central Dogma, practicing for the upcoming gig. They needed to choose four songs for the set, and after some dispute, a compromise would be made. Due to the large differences in band member personality, there was no clear defining genre; they just played what sounded good. Their set was:

"Since I Don't Have You" by Guns n' Roses

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine

"Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult

"Woman" by Wolfmother

The band was quick to pick up the tunes, and they were soon able to run through each song without difficulty. Shigeru was very excited about the band's progress, but realized that they needed something more. They needed an encore. One day, as the band was just winding down from the fade-out ending of "Don't Fear the Reaper" when Shigeru suddenly unplugged his guitar and walked around, passing out tabs and lyrics.

"What's this, Shigeru?"

"This is our ace in the hole, Misato."

Rei scanned through the bass tab, and turned it face down on her music stand. "I'm ready."

"Well hold on, Wonder Girl. The rest of us need a little more time," retorted Asuka defiantly.

"Alright," Shigeru resigned. "Anybody need more time?"

"Rhythm guitar ready."

"Drums ready."

"Keyboard ready."

"Bass ready."

"And Lead Guitar ready. Any objections, Asuka?"

"What song is this anyway?"

"This is a song that's very close to my heart. It's called "Hangar 18" by Megadeth."

"Is it good?"

"It'll make damn sure we beat that other band!" Misato was getting really competitive.

The band started to play through, getting gradually faster until they finally were up to speed. Everyone was getting really into it; Shinji was actually excelling for once, and Asuka lowered her voice just enough to switch from a harsh female singer's voice to a male metal singer's voice. Shigeru was quite impressed; he might just be able to show his old friend what for. After the song ended and everyone was packing up, Shigeru addressed the band as a whole.

"Alright guys, what's our band name?" Many responses buffeted him from all directions.

"NERV!" "Living Thing!" "Free for All!" "Fancy Bandits!"

Shigeru thought it over, then turned to the one person who hadn't spoken up. "What about you, Rei? What do you think our band name should be?"

"Social Darwinism." Everyone in the room went silent, and Rei felt all their eyes upon her. Shigeru considered, and put his hand on Rei's shoulder.

"Rei Ayanami. That is genius. All in favor of 'Social Darwinism' as the band name?"

Everyone in the room raised there hand, saying, "Aye!"

Asuka eventually saw she was outvoted, and agreed.

Some members were leaving with their instruments when Shinji approached Shigeru. Shigeru was tuning his guitar back up before packing it up, and Shinji knelt down by his side.

"Shigeru?"

"What's up, Shinji?"

"Who is this old friend of yours? How did you know her?"

"Her name's Motoko. She's…kind of my ex-girlfriend."

"Really? Why did you break up?"

"Well, she's with the government. She has a high security clearance, and we couldn't stay together because she was always away."

"What part of the government? Is she with NERV?"

"No, she's with Public Security."

"Oh. That sounds kind of boring, compared to NERV."

"Alright. Enough for now, ok? See you at the gig on Saturday?"

"Right."

That Saturday, Social Darwinism showed up at a small venue in the nearby city of Niihama. The pedestrians on the busy street outside brushed past the heavy-laden band until Shigeru finally found the key he had been given. Inside, an empty floor separated them from a large stage, which came to life as Shigeru flipped a switch. As they started to set up, the door flew open, and in marched the opposing band. Five people approached the stage as a curious thing went around the back of the stage. It looked like a spider with a large box on its back, and was carrying amplifiers and instruments for the band. As the band approached, one of the members stepped forward: A tall, curvaceous woman with deep purple hair in a long black trench coat.

"Hello, Shigeru."

"Hello, Motoko. How are you?"

"It's Major Kusanagi now."

"Ok…"

"You've got a new band around you now, huh?"

"They're the best at NERV."

"Well we've got the best from Section 9." Dr. Akagi, who had been setting up her keyboard, heard this and ran for the lip of the stage.

"Section 9? The other band is from Public Security Section 9?"

"Allow me to introduce the band," the Major said. "I am Major Kusanagi, Rhythm Guitar."

A large man to her right in a bomber jacket stepped forward, and spoke in a deep voice. "The name's Batou, Bass Guitar."

Batou retook his place, and a shorter man stepped up, who had short black cropped hair and an odd looking eye patch. "Saito, Lead Guitar." He bowed his head, and got back in line.

A warmer-faced man with long light-brown hair stepped up to the stage, and bowed, saying, "My name's Togusa, on Drums."

One last man, with unkempt hair put up in what could be described as a loose afro, stepped forward slightly, and said seriously, "Ishikawa, playing Synthesizer."

Ritsuko, standing at the edge of the stage, knelt down to make eye contact with the last member.

"Hello, Ishikawa."

"Ritsuko. It's been a while. I hear you're with NERV now."

"I wanted that Public Security gig so bad, but my mother said you were no good for me. Still such a slow typist?"

"We at Section 9 hardly type at all. We usually explore the internet by Encephalon Dive Technology."

"Sounds nice… Hope your fingers haven't gotten rusty."

"No, they're new corrosion-resistant prosthetics. Not as high performance as the others, but…"

"There's no time to talk, Ishikawa. We're going back to set up." The Major led her band out of view, and Shigeru gathered up his band.

"Ok, that's our competition. Any questions?"

"What's with them? They look different."

"They are, Asuka. They all have high performance prosthetic bodies, except for Togusa."

"What's so special about him then?"

"He practices." The band members' jaws dropped.

"Wow…"

The crowd started to gather to witness the spectacle. Niihama was full of refugees and their children, but also enough people who were willing to pay to see a show once in a while. Men and women packed the venue as Social Darwinism psyched themselves up. The two bands would play side-by-side, alternating songs and competing for audience applause until the end. Whoever the audience thought was superior would take home all the admission profits, the other would go home empty-handed.

"Alright Social Darwinism! It's time to shine! Think of this as an operation using the Evas. Try to imagine that if we fail, the UN will cleanse the site, killing the enemy and us as well. So do well, and we won't get blown up, ok?"

"OK!"

The two bands formed up onstage as the house manager announced the challenge.

"Two bands, one winner. You decide. Our local favorite, Think Tank? … Or the newcomers from Tokyo 3, Social Darwinism?"

Think Tank played first, a dynamic instrumental song called "Roots of Coincidence." The lack of vocals was odd at first, but Saito's metallic overdrive brought the crowd up to speed.

After Think Tank was finished, Social Darwinism began with their easiest song, "Since I Don't Have You." Shigeru gave an emotional opening solo with blues embellishments, and Asuka's voice tempted the audience. The two bands seemed equally well received after round 1.

After re-tuning, Think Tank began their rendition of "Hypnotize" by System of a Down. Saito's finger picking was exact, and his odd low voice with Togusa's back-up higher vocals made for an eerie yet entertaining song. Saito and Major Kusanagi played exactly in synch for the chordal solo, which really impressed the crowd.

"Don't worry guys," Shigeru reassured his band-mates. "It's just the prosthetic bodies. They can't emote like we can. Ready?"

Shigeru started solo with low gain on "Don't Fear the Reaper," with an expression that Think Tank lacked. The song was lighter, but just when the audience became complacent, Shinji took over the finger picked pattern to start the interlude. The audience strained to hear the quiet runs, when Shigeru suddenly entered with a high-pitched solo. Cheers erupted as Shigeru played through the scales effortlessly, much to Think Tank's dismay. Afterwards, it seemed that the audience still favored The Major and her band slightly, despite Social Darwinism's unexpected comeback.

Conversing amongst themselves for a minute, Think Tank retook their positions, and Saito took out another pedal. Shigeru saw it, and was instantly worried.

"That muff pedal, that look on their faces…"

"What's the matter, Shigeru?"

"Shinji, I think they're going to steal our song…"

Saito engaged the pedal, and the accidental noise from his guitar was muffled. He began to play power chords that Social Darwinism knew well. After a few bars, Saito raised his foot and stomped on the pedal; the guitar instantly jumped 50 dB, and the crowd went wild. Think Tank, whether on purpose or not, was playing "Woman" by Wolfmother, effectively crippling Social Darwinism's act.

"But Shigeru, Woman was our best song! We got it down so well, too!"

"Calm down Shinji. We're going to play Bulls on Parade. Detune to Rock Tuning again. Asuka?"

"Yeah?"

"Time to get angry."

"Right!"

As Think Tank finished with one last chord, their competition was ready to go. Rei and Shinji looked to each other, and nodded. They started together, and synchronized especially well, playing octaves of E flat for four bars. Then, they got out of the way for Shigeru. He had laid out a massive effects loop, and was working with both feet to process his sound as he played a quiet wah-wah riff which peaked the crowd's interest. Shinji and Rei then came back in with a different riff, playing octaves of each other's part as Asuka began to speak. She half-shouted into the microphone, letting her rage out in the song's words. The crowd was sucked in by the semi hip-hop style, which appealed to their urban lifestyle. Asuka finished her vocal rant and Shigeru began his solo. It was unlike anything the audience had ever heard; Shigeru scratched his fingernails over the deadened strings, making a sound not unlike a record scratching. He brought out pitch differences, and the crowd cheered all the louder. As they repeated out to the end, Shigeru nodded to Asuka, who then began to ad lib her own lyrics in short bursts as Shinji and Rei played their octaves.

The crowd was in a fervor as the two band captains walked to the center and shook hands. They were running out of time, and needed to settle this. One band had to win.

"Major, I think a duel is in order."

"Rules?"

"Guitar and Drums only. Six minute limit."

The flip of a coin favored Shigeru, who conceded to go second. Think Tank chose Saito as their guitarist and Togusa as their drummer. Without speaking, Saito began to play a complex riff, which Shigeru recognized as "Jordan" by Buckethead. The drums came in as Saito picked up the tempo, maneuvering into the guitar break. He soloed in his own keys for a few minutes, while the audience kept a near silence. As he emerged from the guitar break, returning to the familiar riff. The crowd burst into applause, finally out of the fluid guitar break's spell. A few more simple solos and a repeat to the end brought the crowd's cheers out.

Shigeru started to warm up with his amp unplugged, flexing his fingers and running through scales for a minute or so before an intense pain gripped him. He dropped his guitar and clutched at his left hand, grinding his teeth. The band gathered around him, and he told them what had happened.

"Guys, this is bad. My hand's cramping. I can't play anymore, and Shinji, you can't play lead as you are. It's time to go for broke."

"How?"

"Rei, pick up my guitar. You'll take my place."

"I do not play the guitar. I also have no tablature for any songs that can rival "Jordan.""

"You don't need tabs, Rei. Just go out there, and unleash the evil inside you. That is the essence of metal. I believe in you, Rei."

Rei plugged in Shigeru's Stratocaster, and approached the front of the stage. She tuned the guitar quietly, and looked down.

"Release the evil…" She gripped the guitar, and began playing. The sounds of "Raining Blood" cut through the crowd, assaulting ears and filling psyches. Rei had never played anything but bass guitar, but the low, cutting, rhythmic style seemed to flow from her. Misato struggled to keep up with the First Child as she transitioned into the faster 'mosh' section. Each apparent note was a grouping of three, and the crowd cheered as Rei's hands became a blur. She left the structure of the song behind, and continued up the neck of the guitar, becoming wailing and shrill. She made harmonics, holding out high squealing notes that haunted the notes that preceded and followed them. Eventually, she worked her way back down the neck to the low rhythmic patterns until she sensed her time limit approaching. The audience cheered as Rei knelt on the lip of the stage, blazing up and down scales until one last power chord brought her intensity to a close.

The audience absolutely erupted with applause and cheers as Rei panted on her knees at the absolute borderline. Her pulse slowed and she stood up, giving the guitar back to Shigeru. He pointed back to the audience.

"Get back out there!"

Rei spun about and walked back to the edge of the stage, and bowed courteously. She reached out an arm to her right, and Saito came up to join her. Hand in hand, they bowed again for the crowd until the noise slowly died down.

Major Kusanagi approached Shigeru, and kissed him on the cheek.

"You really came through for me, Shigeru."

"I didn't know the girl could play, but I knew the evil was there."

"The whole band delivered. You win."

"Thanks. I think we'll go now."

Rei walked back to rejoin the band, and Shinji approached her.

"Rei, that was…amazing!"

"Thank you. But I am unsure what to do now."

"We won! You should smile, Rei!"

"Alright…"

Shinji was amazed at the beauty of Rei's smile. It was so foreign on that face, but it complemented her features so well. Shinji smiled back, and Rei came closer. Shinji reached out, and embraced her; she didn't resist. Shinji was amazed by the feel of her body. Her heart was racing, probably from playing so fast. She eventually found how to return the embrace, and did so; her breathing steadied.

As they stood there, the rest of the band came in to make a group hug of epic proportions. As Shinji and Rei were pressed tighter and tighter, Asuka's head emerged from behind Rei's.

"I'm watching your hands, Third Child. Try to keep them under control, or I'll kill you."

Shinji smiled to himself as he realized what was pressed against him: Rei, Asuka, Misato, and Ritsuko all within arm's reach.

"I guess that's alright," he said as he reached out and grabbed. "Try implies failure."


End file.
